First Words

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It’s my first “wordy Wednesday” of 2017.

I can have a hard time expressing my thoughts and feelings verbally and have found that writing helps. This entry will be very casual as my mental energy is low so this list will have to do (plus, I like lists). Without further ado, below are words that come to mind when I reflect on the past week:

  • confused
  • frustrated
  • annoyed
  • out of control
  • gluttony
  • sadness
  • anger
  • cheated
  • unheard
  • bossed around

Obviously not the *best* week, but just writing these down makes me feel a bit better.

’16 going on ’17

So 2016. I thought that 2015 tested me both mentally and physically, but 2016 didn’t give me much of a break. I’m not really sure how I feel about it. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a terrible year. There were plenty of great things that happened and I continued to grow and challenge myself – even when I felt like I had done all the “growing” I could (or wanted to).

I’ve compiled my “monthly reviews” (click on the month to check out the post) from the past year and included some of my favorite things. Checking out my old posts was quite an exercise as sadly I forgot a good chunk of things that happened…

Enjoy and here’s to an even better year!

Favorite Book: What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty & Sweetbitter by Stephanie Danler

Favorite TV Show(s): Pretty Little Liars, Veronica Mars, & New Girl 

Favorite Movie (s): Brooklyn & Room

January

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February

2016-02-09 20.36.46

March

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April

2016-04-23 13.14.38

May

2016-05-22 15.50.27

June

2016-06-26 18.36.04

July

2016-07-31 15.44.14

August

2016-08-27-22-56-32

September

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October

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November

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December

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Onwards and upwards to 2017!

December

Surprise birthday party for my best friend’s dad

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Things ended with the guy that I was “dating” – his loss
Started “relapsing” with my eating disorder
Re-Highlighted hair, but not a fan of how it turned out. But I suppose that’s what you get when you go to a school to save money
Went to the 12 Days of Christmas exhibit with my parents at the Dallas Arboretum

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More job interviews…
Started practicing yoga again

2016-12-26-10-00-59-2Too much alcohol and sweets… (yay Holidays!)

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Was let go from my job
Christmas Eve Mass and Christmas light-looking with my parents
Christmas Day

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New Year’s Eve – Kept it simple with a party at my friend’s house

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TV/Movies
This is Us, Season 1
New Girl, Seasons 4 & 5
It’s a Wonderful Life
Christmas Vacation
White Christmas
Miracle on 42nd Street (1994)

Books
Stern Men by Elizabeth Gilbert
Truly, Madly, Guilty by Lianne Moriarty
First Comes Love by Emily Giffin

(un)happy holidays

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This can be a tough time of year for many people. I’m one of those people that struggles to be “happy” over the holidays. Many reasons contribute to it being a challenging season. In particular, it marks the time of year I entered treatment, resistant to change.

Sometimes it feels like my journey began yesterday and others it seems like was longer than the *7* years when I stepped through that door.
To put it lightly, life after leaving what had ironically become my “safe place” was not easy. I was not “cured.” I encountered obstacles I had never dreamt of. But I’m still here. Still fighting – obviously with a multitude of support from professionals, my family, my friends, and even strangers.

This holiday season I am looking forward to curling up to “It’s a Wonderful Life” with more mindfulness of how quickly life can change and the gratitude for my “Clarence(s).”

It wasn(‘t) only just a dream

It was just a dream

Except it wasn’t

Waking up

Jaw sore jaw from being clenched all night

Waiting for the relief

“Thank GOD that wasn’t real”

Except it was

Real

Now what?

When you can’t distinguish between dreams and reality

What can you trust

What can you do

Just don’t close your eyes

The images will reappear

Haunt you

You swore you could touch them

Smell them

You were there

Now what can you trust

You can’t ven trust yourself

How do you wake up when the nightmares never end

November Notes

Car accident, but at least my car is looking all spiffy again

Voted in the 2016 Presidential Election

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Babysat the most perfect 1-year-old ever!

Went to a holiday craft bazaar with my mom and got a little Christmas shopping done

Aced my First Graduate Class

Trip to Klyde Warren Park

Rockwall’s Balloon Festival

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The weather FINALLY started cooling down and felt more like fall

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Movie Date – Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 

Thanksgiving

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Painting with a Twist

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My Crappy Painting…

Celebrated my Dad’s Birthday by having lunch at Blue Mesa and a trip to the Kimbell Art Museum in Fort Worth

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2016-11-27-13-57-23

 

 

TV/Movies
Grey’s Anatomy, Season 12
The Good Wife, Season 6
This is Us, Season 1
New Girl, Seasons 2, 3, & 4
Seeking a Friend for the End of The World
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them
Elf
Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life
2016-11-26-10-45-55

The Holiday
Books
Sweet Bitter by Stephanie Danler
My Name is Lucy Barton
Stern Men by Elizabeth Gilbert

How was your November?! And… Since December is halfway over, How’s your December?

October

My younger brother’s wedding in Tampa, FL

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2016-10-01-13-28-50

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2016-10-01-20-51-12

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Began my first grad school class (online)

Texas/OU game – Boomer Sooner!

Checked out new bars and clubs in Uptown

Dallas Farmers Market

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Networking events

State Fair of Texas

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Craft Fair

Halloween parties

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Job Interview

I went back to my young adults group after “taking a break” for over a month

Halloween

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TV/Movies

Grey’s Anatomy, Season 12

The Good Wife, Season 5

This is Us, Season 1

New Girl, Seasons 1 & 2

Halloween

Charlie Brown & the Great Pumpkin

 

Books

Sweet Bitter by Stephanie Danler