I’ve been having an incredible difficult time staying focused. My mind had calmed a bit after the retreat I went on a few weekends ago, but now it’s right back to going 100 miles a minute. Throughout the day my emotions range from: positive, annoyed, tired, lonely, anxious, depressed – then a brief bout of “okayness”- then back to being unhappy.
To cope with all of these feelings I just want to eat all of the things, which in turns just makes me feel worse – no self-control, low willpower, weak. I’ve tried to establish routines to give my day order/stay on track, but my motivation to adhere to my list is low.
Thinking about something I have to do (even if it’s “fun”) leaves me feeling exhausted even though I know I usually feel better once I’ve completed something. I don’t want to start something because I know I won’t want to finish it (laundry). Charts can be a good guide, but I tend to beat myself up if I don’t meet my goals.
It’s been a series of mini victories/little things that have kept me going.
- Going to the store (even if it’s one out of several errands on my list)
- Laying out and reading a book in the sun in the afternoons
- Being the one to initiate a conversation versus waiting on people to make a move (call/text)
- Learning to say “no” to people and activities
Things I’ve learned lately:
- I rely more on my boyfriend for social support than I’d like to be. I love him to death, but want to be able to make myself happy without depending on him to do so.
- I really don’t like being told what to do/receive unsolicited advice/being micromanaged. If I want advice/need help I’m more open to it if I ask for it myself.
- I do not want to be a teacher like I had been (re)considering. The health care field is, however, looking more appealing.
- I get jealous a lot easier than I care to admit
Goals for the Week:
- More yoga, walks, and strength training versus cardio
- More reading versus social media
- Less sugar and alcohol (two drinks and desserts)
- Sort through my clothes/belongings to donate
Onwards & Upwards…