Another week has passed being home, without a job. Although I had laid out specific, but what I felt “doable” goals and routine for last week, I still felt unsuccessful. I kept beating myself up for slip ups or not accomplishing what I wanted to. “Why oh why, despite my best efforts, can I not get myself together?!”
I become frustrated as I spend time and energy applying for jobs and then 1) never hearing back 2) getting a rejection email. It makes me feel like I’m not qualified to do anything. Although I keep telling myself that the right job will come, I am still discouraged. I have had a few interviews over the past week (both in-person and over the phone) that, if nothing else, are good for “practice.”But which each interview and job search I feel more overwhelmed and made me question what I really wanted to do.
But then I thought of what my previous counselor had told me before and what she’s tell me if I were sitting in front of her again:
Show yourself some self-compassion.
This is always a very hard concept for me to grasp. I always felt like I never do enough – exercise, avoiding trigger foods, organizing my home/life. Last week was also busy with social and family engagements so my eating/sleep schedule has been off. I end up eat more (unhealthily and later) and go to bed long after midnight. I can definitely tell the difference in how I feel both physically and mentally after getting rest. So, my lack of sleep is probably contributes to lackluster feelings. It’s crazy how it can throw the next day off before it even begins, making me less motivated to get off the couch and have a productive day.
I think instead of focusing on rigid goals, what will be more therapeutic and helpful for me right now will be to do a 25-day personal growth exercise that I found on Pinterest. I’ll be able to know myself more and practice the “self-compassion” that my therapist is always preaching. I will start posting regularly on this journey tomorrow.
In the meantime, here are some ways that I have already been practicing self-care/compassion:
- Stopped watching a TV show/movie and or reading something if it doesn’t bring me joy and/or stresses me out
- Set out time to read before bed
- Sorted through my old clothes and purse to donate
- Stopped running when my ankle/knee hurts
- Dumped out a Diet Coke that didn’t taste good (that’s what happens when you go without drinking one for awhile – you just taste the yucky chemicals!)
- Started crocheting again
What are ways in which you practice self-care/compassion?
Onwards & Upwards…